


Raisin-Oatmeal Cookie (No One Wants That)

by AshRain



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Introspection, Roman centric, Roman relfecting about his relationship with Virgil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:00:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23396659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshRain/pseuds/AshRain
Summary: Before, Roman has always wanted Anxiety gone.Now, the mere thought frightens him.
Relationships: background platonic LAMP
Comments: 1
Kudos: 59





	Raisin-Oatmeal Cookie (No One Wants That)

_If Anxiety is gone, what do we have to lose? _  
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__It’s been ages since the Accepting Anxiety double episode and Roman still heard every mean thing he’d said. It kept going and going, echoing in his mind._ _

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And every time his mind went down that particular spiral the memories got louder and louder.

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_A raisin-oatmeal cookie. No one wants that! ___

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No one wanted Anxiety. Least of all Roman. He’d always been vocal about it. He was never shy to insult the villain, his antagonist.

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For that was all he was to Roman. An antagonist. A nuisance.

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All Roman ever wanted, more than anything in the world, was to get rid of Anxiety so Thomas finally wouldn’t be held back by him anymore.

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_You find what is burdening their life and you kill it. ___

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Roman had said it about the imaginary Dragon-Witch but he did, indeed, have Anxiety in mind when he thought of it. Anxiety made Thomas’s life so hard. He made their host constantly worried and Roman hated it. The constant fear interfered with Roman’s work, hindering Thomas from reaching goals and making his dreams come true. And like a true disney prince, he wanted their dreams to come true. And if he had to get rid of Anxiety to do so first, then so be it. He’d find a way to make him stop.

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Roman didn’t care how he had to do it. He just wanted Anxiety to be out of the picture.

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_He couldn’t be struggling because of me. Why not sunshine over there? ___

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_Blame him _, his mind had told him. Everything was always Anxiety’s fault anyways! Even Logan had agreed at the time!__

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_“Anxiety is the antagonist.” _The logical side had insisted back then.__

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And Roman had always agreed. He hated Anxiety. He hated him so much.

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_I can’t stand that guy. ___

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_Still don’t like you. ___

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_I don’t like him. ___

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Roman used to be so vocal at the time. But now-

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They had gotten to know Virgil.

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And now the mere thought of him being gone frightens Roman. It frightens him more than he ever thought possible.

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Virgil. Scared, caring, thoughtful Virgil.

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Roman had put him through so much over the years.

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Sweet Virgil, always trying to protect them. So different now from the front of Anxiety. So different from the callous, sometimes even cruel side.

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It tore Roman apart, knowing what he had done to the side he now called one of his best friends.

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_If your only goal is to protect, then why do you act like the embodiment of a dark and stormy night all the time? ___

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Truthfully, Roman had been afraid of Anxiety. He didn’t like to admit it but he was. A tiny, primal part deep inside his chest screamed at him whenever Anxiety was close.

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_Danger. Danger! _It would chant and Roman had reacted accordingly.__

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He never let his guard down.

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Now he knew better. He knew he was unfair. He knew the way he acted was irrational.

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But he was blinded by hate. He never stopped.

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It took Virgil ducking out for him to see how important his role was in keeping Thomas safe. He had pushed and teased and hurt Virgil until it was almost too late.

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It was almost too late for Virgil.

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It was almost too late for them to get Virgil back.

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_We got along just fine without him in the first two Sanders Sides videos. ___

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They didn’t. They really didn’t get along fine without Virgil.

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And roman couldn’t help but blame himself for Virgil leaving. They weren’t just fine without him. They may have managed the first two videos but Virgil had still been there. He was not on screen but he still influenced Thomas.

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It was Roman’s fault. It must have been.

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Patton had never said a bad thing about anyone. Patton always made everyone feel welcome.

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Logan may have had his moments of disagreement with Virgil but he was still… civil. As civil as Logic could be.

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But he was not. Not at all. Roman just couldn’t look past his own distaste for the anxious side. And as such it was his fault that they had nearly lost their protector.

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It was Roman’s fault Virgil saw no other way but to leave.

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And roman would spend every single day for the rest of Thomas’s life making up for it.

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**Author's Note:**

> feel free to come talk to me on tumblr @ashrain5 :)


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